One Crazy Year
Some people surf, others post surveys, but when I am bored, I like to blog. I never knew it would become so addicting, yet here I sit going over the last year of my life trying to think of any interesting stories I have experienced. Usually my life is made up of crazy little tells not so funny in the moment, but when the embarrassment or frustration is gone, I love having a new story to laugh about and share with others. This year, however, has been very different for me for many reasons, but only one that I am able to speak of online. Never before have I seen visible evidence of aging appear on my face, but being a home school mom has accomplished much in the mirror.
My husband told me when our boys were very small that he wanted to wait an extra year before putting them in kindergarten. “Yeah, yeah, whatever”, I thought. So, I started my eldest as soon as he was of age, ignoring Trav’s warnings. Isaac had an awful year in public school with typical little boy set backs and an impatient, condescending teacher. I watched as his confidence diminished and his attitude towards school turned icy cold.
We got started home schooling as soon as Kindergarten was finished and then we spent our whole year together ending in one or both of us crying. I gave up my writers group, and cultivating new friendships, hobbies, even much time on the computer to invest my life in my wounded son. Isaac and the other boys sacrificed play dates, time at the pool, and the park; all the fun things we use to do together, in order to get Isaac through this difficult season in his life.
Being responsible for instilling godly character and purpose in my son as well as being responsible to his education was sometimes more than I could bare. I spent many afternoons in my closet yelling at God and begging for a way out. Sometimes I just wanted to run away from it all. The lie that things would be better and easier if I was on my own was calling from the darkest corners of my mind. I had to cling to the truth I knew in order to silence the enemy’s attacks. God had a plan, His ways are higher than my ways, and the only relief I would ever see would come from Him.
Which brings me to the crazy little tell that began this blog. Travis had done something he does not do often in our marriage. He put his foot down and told me I had to find a new solution for next year. With that in mind, Isaac had pushed every one of my buttons on this particular day, but instead of getting angry I sternly explained to him that I was getting on the computer to find a school to send him too. There was screaming and crying and empty promises as I found Harvest Christian Academy and began to call from my home phone. When I was finished Isaac told me that I had better check the freezer. He said that he wiped his tears with my cell phone, dipped it in water, then stuck it in the freezer! He thought it would keep me from making the call.
To make a long story not quite as long, my whole family is now looking forward to being a part of Harvest next year, maybe especially me. We are enjoying this summer at the pool and the library, and lunches together just like we use to. I get to be my son’s biggest cheerleader and focus more on bringing him through the issues of life while entrusting his education to an amazing tutor this summer.
Today, I am giving myself a much needed day off and calling it “Mommy Day”. I am going to blog, talk on the phone, finish a magazine, and see if I can apply enough cream to erase some of this year from my face…all while in my pajamas. And while I have the mirror out, maybe I can uncover some other stubborn areas God is warning me about whether through the voice of my husband or one crying out in the wilderness to save myself some pain and wrinkles. LOL!
