Weekend Worship

My countdown to the weekend began last Sunday night. My week has been spent tub dipping my toddler’s chapped butt after every new squirt of whatever he has digested in the last 20minutes to an hour. I have washed more sheets this week than a hotel maid service! Thank goodness for plastic mattresses.

Gearing up for my hot date on Friday night I head off to my workout at what I use to call the middle of the night. 5:30am has always been my favorite time to sleep until almost a year ago when I started going to a kick butt boot camp. Our coach challenges us to 7 days of no sugar and no bread. That’s going to put a bit of a damper on my wild night with my hubby, but fine. I’ll do it even though I have done it a million times before without any personal results. In fact, I already eat bread only about once or twice a month, but giving up sugar was going to be more difficult. There are times in a woman’s life when she NEEDs chocolate and my time was now.

The sitters arrive and I pray that they don’t notice the sewer tub in my bathroom. I secretly hope that Travis will decide to clean it up just because he loves me too much to let me tackle such an unladylike task. I watch him pass back and forth without so much as a glance at the bath. Darn! He’s going to play the denial game with me. Let’s see who will hold out the longest. I don’t even like baths Mr. Tub Taker! After 10 years, we know each other too well to ever win at these games. Deep down I know that he knows I won’t make it much longer. I wasn’t born for camping or missions. Bugs and dirty bathrooms are my kryptonite.

We have a low key, “let’s act like adults for a change” night out together. I enjoy the salmon salad at Central Market and devour the whole thing since I was starving! I had packed a lunch for myself to eat at the zoo, but had forgotten a fork. My friend is use to the mission field in India so, even though I do value her opinion of me, I decided it probably wouldn’t phase her much to watch me eat with my fingers. Unfortunately, I was to frustrated to finish, thus my ravenous appetite at dinner. I am just so glad we are past that I’ll pretend I am a dainty eater stage after all these years together. I honestly thought I was going to starve to death when I first got married.

Since this is about worship, I will take this moment for confession. I usually don’t get sweet coffee except for the occasional Cinnamon Dolce or the whole season of eggnog lattes. But you just don’t see Mexican Mocha’s much and it was so cold, and I justified that I was probably way under calories for the day, so YEAH! I had one. I’m not proud of my moment of weakness, but I enjoyed every last sip.

Generally, Saturday mornings are rather slow, but nothing a nice cup of coffee can’t handle. We lounge around until it’s time to get dressed for church. I especially love the sermon series right now and I couldn’t wait to go and absorb the message. Saturday services are a family saver! It’s better than any therapy that can be offered. It’s someone’s brilliant idea, probably a wife and mother who was tired of getting herself and all of her children ready and looking their Sunday best while growing more frustrated with each call out, “ get your shoes on”, “your not wearing that to church”, “HONEY, can you grab the diaper bag? “ She jumps in the car, now running late and realizes that “honey” accidentally grabbed the 7 year old’s backpack instead of the only item she had assigned for him to do. This continues the argument all the way to the church as the family slides in late to the pew and is now going to have to be accountable in the presence of God for all the angry words they shared on the way to worship service. So, she thought, let’s start a service on Saturday night to alleviate the stress from the morning rush. Pure genius! Now I have a few hours before I have to start getting everyone ready for church.

I pass by the pig tub and notice that the kids have thrown our toothpaste in the middle of the filth. Lovely! Now I will be forced to go on my Target/Starbucks reading date with Caleb and a foul mouth. I buy more paste while we are there and I stand away from all clerks in hope that no one will notice the fuzz on my teeth.

We were all feeling a little run down, probably because we refuse to take the flu shots and are fighting something off, so we decide to hit a Sunday morning service instead. I am now dreading Sunday morning.

My husband decides to do something nice for me and he brings me a hamburger…with the bun and tots. Because I love my husband and I like to encourage him to continue to do thoughtful things for me, I decide not to complain about sabotaging my 7-day carb challenge. Wives wonder why their husband have stopped the romance and yet they forget about all the times she has taught him that she doesn’t appreciate it with her complaints. That’s not going to be me! I will remind him later so it doesn’t take me to December to get through 7 straight carbless days.

Sunday morning I wake up to find that, yes, the tub still looks like something from my worst nightmare, the old toothpaste is still being digested by the monster, and now the boys have misplaced the new tube.

With no time to run to the store, we are forced to use the non-fluoride type for babies. The meet and greet your neighbors part of service was going to be a little more awkward with out the confidence of minty fresh breath.

Also, the yelling has begun already, we are running late and I suddenly feel like curling up in bed to watch the service online. Trav assures me it’s going to be a good day and getting away from our dirty house to forget that we just paid a housekeeper a week ago to have it spotless would be the best medicine. He’s right.

Sunday night I go to bed with my work cut out for me for the week. When will I ever learn that cleaning the house before the weekend so I can relax only makes me crankier as I watch the family destroy it? I have more sheets to wash now that another child has fallen prey to the big D., a bathtub to ignore as it tortures me, and a wonderful week ahead of as I have now learned to enjoy and appreciate the rest of the days of the week.

Tags: church, Family worship, funny, kids