This morning I have once again been playing catch up on the computer while giving only a small portion of my attention to the worship music playing in the background. But one small phrase caught my ear and overwhelmed my heart.

I am SO not a poet. I am actually more of a logical thinker which makes it sometimes difficult for me to put into words the explosions of love and gratefulness bursting inside of my heart for my Lord and Saviour. Thankfully, God has gifted others to write beautiful worship songs which enable me to express my heart to Him.

In my busyness, I almost missed this thought that has now opened my mind to a new way of viewing who I am or maybe I should say Who’s I am. “take His Name” is all that I can remember from the last hour of music playing. But my thoughts have immediately shifted to my single years.

My maiden name bares much shame. My father was extremely abusive to my Mom in many ways. I spent the first 18 years of my life in fear and shame for all of the sexual abuse my ,suppose to be protector, inflicted on me. Not only could I NOT wait to get out of there, but even after I became a Christian I longed for a new name. I wanted to put my past in the past once and for all. I had even considered taking my beloved step fathers name, but knew that my time would come soon enough. And my patience paid off.

When I was 25 I became Mrs. Rebecca Gates and breathed a sigh of relief. The new Gates legacy began with my godly father in law. He is a man of prayer, mercy, integrity and faith. My husband has followed in his fathers footsteps. He honors me with his eyes and his affections and respect. I have taken on my husbands name and, in many ways, his identity.

And then I thought, “yes Lord, I do want Your name”. The idea of being called a Christian and finding my identity in him was not foreign to me. I’ve heard it preached my whole life. But the passion I have felt as I now imagine myself a bride standing before an awesome God is stirring change in my thinking. I picture myself as I was at 17 years old when I asked Jesus to take me as I was with nothing to offer, but shame, a young woman labeled dirty and unlovable. My life was hopeless, and yet God proved the world wrong. It was then that He changed my name. And I am forever changing more each day into His image of me. In other words, because of Jesus in me, God sees me as beautiful, wanted, faithful, worthy, godly, and anything else that is pure and good. This is who I am now since I have received His Son. I am so honored to bare His name.

I have wanted to write this for awhile now, but I have also wanted to do a lot of other things too. But before we get too carried away with ourselves, allow me to give you something to consider.

I think back to when Clinton was elected and how much I loathed him. I don’t need to go into my reasons why, that is not what this is all about. But, when he was in office I certainly did not hold back my feelings about him.

Then Bush was elected and I got to experience the other side of that. I loved and respected our president though I have never expected him to be perfect since I am not perfect. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am quick to defend those I love. Even today, Bush continues to be not only criticized, but really, verbally attacked. And I have learned to hold my tongue because I have been humbled. I would be a hypocrite to say that I was not just as guilty.

Here is my resolution. I made it in the first year that Bush took office and now I get to put myself through the test. Regardless of how I feel about our new President, he holds the highest office in our nation. It is a seat of honor. Who am I to say whether he is worthy to take this seat. My job now is to pray for him and for our nation. My job is not to slander him. I know that many of us this morning have cried and wondered what does this new “change” really mean. We have experienced fear, regret, anger and defeat. But the only words that can bring hope are words in prayer. I think that if we can really search our hearts, and our Bibles we will see that Jesus never justifies slanderous talk.

Just in case anyone is confused about what I am saying, know that I do not mean that we don’t continue to vote, write political letters and make our “right wing” voices heard. But, simply complaining to our friend who can do nothing to change anything is not going to benefit anyone. Muling over the past, or angry blanket statements are only bringing more heaviness to the atmosphere.

One last thought, it is in times of controversy that the church is strengthened. Maybe this is our time to grow.

PS, I know that not all of my friends agree with me, especially on political things. I hope that we can agree to disagree. And I hope that our friendship is more valuable then these issues. I believe that if the parties could ever learn to trust each other enough to talk openly and candidly without being ruled by anger, we may be able to finally come together for a solution. It’s not about being right or wrong. Many of us have deep personal convictions. We were created different and therefore, we see life through a different set of eyes. Let’s either try to understand one another or let’s just chose to love anyway. That’s my prayer anyway.